The wrong adjective April 28, 2006

Wil and I have been patrons of a little place called stupid.com for a few years now but it feels like we've been patrons..well, forever. They bring to their customers quality goods at a decent price that can be used in everyday life for just about anybody.   Here is a list of some of the items that Wil and I have enjoyed getting, using and giving:  sushi band aids- when pain presents itself, why not cover it with raw fish?, voice thrower- this one is useful when it comes to confusing old people, bacon air freshner- yum, nun-zilla-fire and brimstone, tatoo tape- wishing for the real thang, mustaches-handy when it comes to covering freckle mustaches, Che Lip balm- why not?, inflatable hat- doesn't every girl need a hat that can fit in your back pocket?, zipper pull earrings- looked painful but isn't, key shirts-we went with the retro symbol models, shady hand sunvisor- when three hands are better then two and a half, nihilist gum- I have nothing to say, toilet bowl lip gloss- when you want your lips to shine like a porcelin goddess, and seriously the list goes on.  Worth every penny. They call themselves "stupid", I call them, "genius."

You will find their website in my blogroll.

Side Show Freak April 27, 2006

I took an extended spring break (yes, the number two reason to be a teacher) to go bond with my cuter then cute grandad.  Grandad and Granite (that's my great aunt who also married my grandfather after my grandmother died…insert dueling banjos here) are so incredibly racist.  I just forget that they have been trained to think this hardcore crazy way and it totally offends me.  Anywho, I went to an auction that lasts ALL DAY in the 91 degree hot south carolina sun.  I totally slathered on the sun screen and had my sunglasses but neglected the hat.   When I returned back to my grandparent's house, I looked in a mirror and thought to myself,"When did I drink Kool-aid?"  To my horror, it was no kool -aid stain but freckles in the shape of a mustache.  I washed my face and applied a liberal amount of lotion and the freckles faded away after two days but it scared me, it scared me bad.  When you dig through the horror and fright I actually came to hope and possibility.  I have been a person struggling to find my dream for a long while now and this gave me a vision.  I could A.)make freckle mustaches the new fashion trend.  B)I have found my new career goal as a side show attraction or a cover girl for sun hats  or C.) Make fun of Wil's friends because he is in love with a gal that can grow a mustache with only 4 hours worth of sun: I'm like a messed up chia pet!  Oh well, I need to find my sun hat and be glad that those freckles weren't keepers.

Could be worse: 

Atleast I didn’t break a nail……… April 21, 2006

   This is Lucy.

For a spring break adventure, I went to visit my friend in Star, NC.  Star is the midpoint of North Carolina so now I can say I have truly lived.  My friend Cyndi is amazing when it comes to nature and growing things.  Upon arrival at her home, I was greeted by her great dane, Lucy and a little mutt that just ended up at there house named Timmy.  Then I saw her garden with all kinds of yummy green things growing, her two goats: Floyd and Lucy II, her plot of chicks which will one day be chickens, she used to have guineis (sp?) but they all got hit by cars, and she used have one more chick but it got sick or Lucy ate it, can't remember.  Close to her house, there are number of trout ponds and they have well water.  Basically, if the world is going to fall apart as Americans know it, Cyndi's house is the place to be.

Not far into my visit, I noticed something interesting about myself.  Every time an animal would get near me, I would put my arms close to my chest and move my hip away from whatever animal it might be.  The thought of dog slobber or goat on me was annoying.  I used to be tough.  You could rub dirt on me and it was no big deal.  What happened?  Has my need for cleanliness exceeded my love for the common farm animal?

When I returned back home, I checked myself for ticks, loved on my non-farm dog, and sat with my man.  I realized I have changed.  

It is 1am and this is what I’m thinking about. April 18, 2006

I believe in a balance:  good and evil, black and white, yin and yang, day and night. That is why I think this:  Almost every vacation I have ever been on, something has gone wrong somewhere on the trip.  Example:  16 years old, Cruise to Bahamas, food poisoning from bad yoplait strawberry yogurt, had to take me off ship on wheelchair, have since never eaten yogurt.  Example:  25 years old, Honeymoon in Maui, all belongings stolen from back of rental car while getting slushie on way to airport where all flights had been delayed due to bomb threat. Example: 27years old, Spring Break 2006, stepped on glass in my home while packing for trip.

I tell you that so I can tell you this:  yeah, that whole balance thing.  I am so blessed to have even been given the opportunity to take all my vacations.  Each one of them, the good outweighed the bad.  Okay, truth, that's all the bad stuff I could think of that has ever happened to me on a trip but it makes a good argument if you don't know that.

hollow bunnies April 15, 2006

I just attended my first Good Friday service at Wil and I's primary church.  I have celebrated Easter since I was born.  The first years of my life it was about the easter bunny and finding eggs.  I remember once, in Florida, I had dyed an egg blue and put a sticker of my favorite sesame street character, Grover, on it.  Then I went into our back yard (we had a banana tree and a lemon tree…..very pretty) and found the perfect place for Grover so I could find him later if no one else did.  Sure enough, the party had ended and no one had found my Grover.  So I went down to the corner of the yard and looked behind the dirty old flower pot and there, with an egg shaped lump in its throat, was a black snake. It'd eaten my Grover!  I remember screaming and crying and that's about it.  Once Grover was near to me but then he was just so far……..down a snakes throat!  Stinkin unhinged jaws….

Anywho, the Good Friday service was amazing and I cried through 3/4th of it.  It was very powerful and for the first time, I really understand what Easter is all about.  Before, I was just going through the motions.  I am really looking forward to Easter Sunday and this time, it isn't the promise of jelly beans that I'm excitied about.

Employee of the month April 13, 2006

First of all, why would any student think it is okay to ask a teacher if they knew what a hard on was even if it was in spanish?  Seriously, not a smart idea and it got the boy a week of OSS.  The way kids test the limits is amazing.  This week only, I had:  a kid dip tobacco in class, a girl kick a kid in the nuts "just cause", kids who thought it would be "okay" and "appropriate" to make a thong out of a plastic bags or draw boobs on a bag for my fashion show activity, or how about the kid that had razor blades in his shoes and threatened kids until one of them told the principal.  So, if dealing with this doesn't get me the EOM award then this should:

My parents asked me to go with them to see my grandfather in a week and take two days off of school.  It will be awhile before I can see my grandfather again when I move.  So, I told them I would look into it.  After looking in the handbook when it comes to taking days off next to a holiday (spring break) it says it is prohibited.  So the anxiety started.  For some reason, I have such a hard time lying about sick days or going against the rule book.  What is wrong with me????  So many people do it. Well, I've been convinced that seeing my grandad is more important then the slap on the wrist I might get when I get back.  I hope I make the right decision and can still be in the running for EOM.

***Just a note, there really is no employee of the month. 

Save the Trees! April 10, 2006

As a teacher, I deal with paper all day every day. It is amazing how much paper we use at school but sometimes it is hard to get around it. It would be cool if we had some sort of computer system or dry erase board that won't erase or something that we could use over and over but as of yet, we don't. Now that I am getting ready to move, more paper work has presented itself. I must redo my resume and cover letter, I must sign papers of resignation, Wil and I must fill out paperwork for our new Sewanee life, I have an end portfolio at work with lots of paper, I have to be observed and reviewed on paper, I have to sign up for alternative health insurance on paper, I have to go to the Post office and change my address on paper……….paper paper paper. The word loses all meaning after awhile. So this is an apology to all the trees in my life. They watch me carry and send fragments of their brothers and sisters on a daily basis. They watch as kids place them in little wads in the end of their pens and shoot them across the room resting on little Tommy's neck, and don't get me started on the mass killings going on in our forests.(call me hippie if you will) If only humans could use paper more wisely and respect the trees because if the law of kharma is correct, it is only a matter of time before trees unite and start falling on us and flicking us in the back of the head with their branches. We all remember the forest scene from Wiz of Oz….that's what I'm talkin 'bout.

Starting with a clean slate April 4, 2006

Alright alright…..are you ready to rumble?  Well, I am.  I have selected this "white as milk" backgroud for my new and improved blog because of my new exciting life.  Did you know that white paint is never really purely white?  No no, in fact all whites are shaded by other colors so it is important to match your white with the color you are using.  I could totally work at sherman williams but I like my brain cells the way they are.  Anywho, new improved yadda yadda….yep, Wil and I are headin for Sewanee TN in less then 4 months where I will get to re-decorate my casa, re -evaluate my career and improve my marital life.  The future looks bright for this self-proclaimed "priest to -be's wife".  I plan to shatter all the norms, rearrange the stereotypes, and erase all negativity from my new roll.  Somewhere in there I plan to reinvent Amanda Keith really drawing on past successes and forgiving past failures.  This blog is my way of sharing with you and taking you with me to Sewanee. Blogs are like a public journal, it is really written for me but I'll let you see mine if you let me see yours.