The Misadventures of a Spouse August 30, 2006

Painting a picture for you:  Sylus and I were taking a walk and we see, in the woods, one of the many deer that live on campus.  I’ve decided to just ignore the deer because I could spend a good portion of my time here approaching them and pretend talking to them.  Sylus doesn’t really care about them.  He’ll look at them but just keeps on walking.  Usually the deer will freeze-stare-run or freeze-stare-hope you don’t see them.  This time was different.  We got the freeze-chew on grass or cud or whatever-stomp the ground.  Now at first, I was like, “Cute, something different.”  Then I realized that the deer was challenging Sylus.  The deer was almost in the path and not moving…obviously not scared of us.  So, I decided to make a break for it.  Pulling Sylus along, we huried past the deer and I just hoped he didn’t decide to mate with us or charge at us or poop on us or whatever they do.  You’ll be happy to know we emerged from the woods unharmed.

Painting a picture for you:  Tonight I went to spouse of seminarians only eucharist.  Mostly women were seated around me in the church.  I knew it was going to be a rough service when noone sang at the hymns.  So I mustered out some wrong notes that seemed to echo in my head.  We “sang” 5 of these.  Then, during the scripture reading (which I was not reading along with) the lector paused half way through and said “amen.”  So, I said, “amen.”  Well, I was the only one to say amen after the lector.  Apparently, everyone else was following along with the reading and knew not to say amen. Then I spent the next 4 minutes tryng not to laugh out loud at my mistake.  My voice sounded so weird out there on the air, hanging in the middle of the church with no one elses.  You’ll be happy to know, I emerged unharmed.

Are you lonesome tonight? August 26, 2006

It is friday night, 10:32.  It is the first official “party night” for the undergrads at The University of the South.  It started at dinner.  They walked around in herds all dressed up, going somewhere important.  Then fireworks at dark and now bands play, echoing across the mountain top.  My home is nestled in the outskirts of campus.  I could see the light on the night sky from the fireworks not far in the distance.

I think back to my undergrad days and am so thankful for all my friends and their constant togetherness I could choose to be a part of at any moment.  Camping parties, brown house, white house, laurelwood, girl time at Erin and Sarah’s, my nook on hippie hill: I miss it but would I want to go back.  My depression is deep right now,  sort -of lost in this planned out life I have.  I have no real job, no true friends here, and no money.  I know it will all change sooner or later but tonight is heavy.

I write this not for pity or whatever, I write this to remind myself of my blessed life that I’ve lived and will live.  This moment is only a one sentence in my book. 

 ”lonely is not only a word but faces I have known” – Stevie Nicks

That’s my guy August 25, 2006

Tonight was Wil’s matriculation ceremony at the “big church” on campus.  This church is amazing and it makes you feel itty-bitty which is, I guess, the point.  Matriculation is when the new seminarians write their names in this historical book that is a record of all seminarians up- to- date. Wil wore the cutest seer sucker suit and a black robe with his name and three other guy’s names sewn on the back.  Studiously adorable.

So, this is a huge deal for us.  The road to seminary has been rocky and now things are looking paved, a bit curvy, but paved none-the-less.  People, my man is smart.  I mean, swish, over my head smart and he is already taught me so much about myself and faith and spirituality and he has schooled me a little bit on religion.  I have a loooooong way to go.  I am so proud of him.  We are in this wonderful place living side by side and truly supporting each other through something so special.  I’m like a proud captain painting the name of her boat on its side:  Whale of a Wil.

This is it.  The journey into priesthood has officially started therefore the journey into priest-wife-hood has as well.  It is a big step but lucky for me, I’m wearing sparkly shoes.

Always Carry a Flashlight August 18, 2006

The woods here,  they are thick and have a presence about them that I have never felt before.  I was hiking this past Sunday with Sylus and no one else was on the trail.  It was very quiet and I kept running into huge spider webs which means no one had hiked the trail that day or maybe even the day before that.  I kept having to stop and listen.  I could just feel all the spirits of so many generations before me.  I ended up talking to Sylus a lot more then I usual do.

So tonight, Wil and I went to walk Sylus around the ‘hood.  A few weeks ago I had found an old road that was mostly grass covered and followed it to an old rusted mailbox with the last owners name still on the side.  As I kept walking I came to a clearing and an overlook of the beautiful Tennessee valley.  I saw some old pillars lying on the ground.  There was once an old house in the clearing and all that remaind were the stone pillars.  I was kinda freaked out about it in the daylight so when Wil was clued in to where the road was, he convinced me to go down it in the dark.  We passed the old mailbox and I could barely look at it since it gave me the creeps.  Then we got to the clearing.  I could here the families of deer in the woods moving all around us. (There are SOOOOO many deer here.  I saw atleast 15 on the way home from dinner.)  As I was trying to make out my surroundings in the dark, Wil suddenly gasped so I started to truck it down the road from wince we came.  I could hear Wil laughing behind me.  I, of course, said, “Dude, don’t do that!” and joined him in laughter. 

What is it that still scares me about that dark and the possibilty of ghosts and ghouls?  Is it that somewhere, deep inside, I believe in them or is it God’s way of keeping us young at heart?  And to you Wil, paybacks a bitch.

Boooorrrrrriiinnnngggggg August 16, 2006

What can I say?  I just ain’t happenin’ right now.  Let me tell you about the highlights of my day:

Woke at 6:15am.  Made students giggle while I tried to pronounce ancient Mayan words invloving the sounds, “Teet” and “puss”.  Wanted to strangle 7th grader for continuing to ask me why she coldn’t drink her gatorade in class.  I finally decided on, “Because I said so.”  Was schooled in Science by a 5th grader. In my defense, the way a cell works is complicated, seriously.  As an example of something my 8th grade might be able to relate to when it comes to understanding culture, I usd the popular, “Ya’ll might say, ‘Fo shizzle’ and grandma has no idea what you’re talking about.” Spent from 3:00 – 4:00pm grading papers.  Drove to two different places remembering  once I had turned off my car that  I had forgotten my purse and would be un-successful in my missions.  After getting wallet, went to pick up pre-ordered furniture and stopped by Bath and Body works only to realize that it is truly ridiculous to pay $12  for body wash (so I didn’t).  On my way home, laughed to myself as I remembered Zak Foy singing “November Rain” at our friends wedding when we thought the clouds looked forboding.  Made dinner, walked dog, cleaned up kitchen, and here I am.

Could be worse.  Could be better.  Boring for sure.

let’s NOT do the time warp August 11, 2006

Okay, so, I am starting my substitute gig tomorrow at the butt-crack of dawn.  I am seriously like a deer in headlights:  new school, new rules, new people, new kids, not my classroom, not my stuff, and I have to teach social studies- my worst subject ever.  A bit o’ stress is standard but nothing will fix that until I throw myself, head first, into tomorrow. 

So, I was required to go to tonight’s open house for parents.  Another teacher was heading things up for me since I don’t have a clue.  So she was talking, talking, talking. Discipline this, physical education that, social studies with Mrs. Keith, and “I reserve the right to paddle.”  Screech!  Hold up!  Paddling?!  Those letters have got to stand for something else like: Parents Are Delightful, don’t let idiots neglect gargling.  That’s much nicer then the idea of teachers still using a paddle.  I just couldn’t believe it.

What amazed me even more was the parent’s reaction.  No one seemed like this was out of the ordinary.  One dad said, “I’d rather ya’ll paddle then give ‘em a writin’ assigment.” 

So maybe I don’t know much about social studies and world history but I do know that I will not be paddling anyone at anytime.  I can just see the logic, “Tommy, it is not okay to hit other students.  Now, come over here and bend over so I can knock the sense right into ya.” 

Oh, Tennesse, you keep springing the surprises on me.  What’s next?  Hangings at the oak tree in front of town hall?

Shhh, Don’t tell my blog this August 10, 2006

I’ve been a cheatin’.

Two weeks ago, I found myself mysteriously drawn to myspace.com.  Before I knew it, I had me an account and that’s when it all started going downhill.  I filled out information, I picked bakgrounds and music, I found old friends and searched for more……it became, well, habit forming.  Now, I know what you’re thinking and yes, in some ways what I’ve done is wrong but I ask you, how can something that feels so right be bad for me?  Don’t answer that.

My hopes are to find people who will one day understand this need I feel deep inside:  Xavier Ross, Matthew Edwards, Rachel Dudasik, Spencer Snyder, Lauren Russell: Where are you guys?  Right now, I can count my “myspace friends” using both sets of fingers and two toes.  Call me a floosy or a loosy goosy but I am not done with this techno affair. 

Come join me, add me as your friend, pick songs and backgrounds, you know you want to……..

Amada Inn August 7, 2006

Some stuff has happened since my last entry.  Fun-tabulous stuff.

First off, I didn’t take the job as the middle/high school teacher and I am really proud of myself for that.  I feel freed from being a middle school teacher and hopefully I can explore new roads.

Second, and much more exciting, was the wedding of my friend Kathryn and Tyler.  They got married at the little castle thing at the end of Montford Ave.  It was very beautiful and she was graceful and lovely (as she always is but just extra graceful and lovely.)  I had such a blast seeing everyone and as usual, I made a fool of myself but it was totally worth it.  At one point in the evening, I looked over at Wil who had handed out the cigars to all the guys, and he looked so “Preistly”.  Not like Jason but like Episcopal.  He is really moving into this role nicely.  He starts classes this Monday!  Anywho, wedding, yeah, saw lots of old Denver crew and Boone crew. Best of all, I got to hang with my best girls and all their glory.  One’s got a baby, one’s going to have a baby, one looks like yo’ baby’s momma (not really). And the guys, oh the guys, I love my guys.  They are all super cute and fun and we all had a grand ol’ time.  Thanks Kathryn!

And let’s not forget the “‘Mater Festival”  where I dined on fried green ‘maters and a corndog.  Real healthy I know.  Healthy eating started today.  I got to go to that gem with my family on saturday which was way better then the festival itself.  I love those guys.

Driving home from Asheville today, we passed a sign that had “AMADA INN” displayed.  I got news for ya, you guys aren’t foolin anyone with that (especially when you paint over the R with a different shade of red).  If you skimp on the name of your business, what else are you skimpin on?  Hmmmm?

Check out the wedding photos on Flickr!  Much love to the happy couple!

What kinda path is this anyway? August 2, 2006

Knock Knock

Who’s there

Opportunity

Opportunity who?

I thought you were only supposed to knock once…….

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Went into the board of education today to do some routine paper work to be a temporary substitute teacher.  Low stress, easy job,  little to no thinking involved. Lady comes out of the office.  “Amanda, just so happens that we just had a fcs teacher position open up that you could fill.  Whad-a-ya say?”

Plop!  Right in my lap.   They are just handing out the jobs over here whether I ask for them or not.  I think I’ve been quoted saying, “Teaching sucks the fabulous right out of me.”  But here I am faced with this chance of an opportuinty.  I’ve been beating myself up all night thinking:  teaching is SO hard.  Is it worth the pay?  Am I strong enough to do this?  If I don’t do this, what WILL I do?

Oh man.  Here it goes.  I hear you God.  My path is crystal clear.  So solid yet so uncertain.   I guess I’m back to be being a teacher.