Can You Spare Some Change? April 24, 2007

It seems as though life has been different lately.  I kinda wish it was, “Look at my new accent, just call me Madonna” different or “I actually do like the taste of parsnips but they’re not my favorite root veggie” different but it has been like, “In your face Amanda, let me blow your mind by changing your perceptions” different.

It all started Sunday.  I was having a normal, kick ass, sunny weekend full of sleeping in, big breakfastes, and hiking where there’s really hot rock climbing dudes.  Sunday morning, I awoke and piddled for a good hour or so.  Then, I finaly got to watchin the “Invisible Children” dvd my friend Therese let me borrow.  She had mentioned it earlier in the week and told me about an event going on in Nashville this up coming weekend.  So I watched the tape and it was so heavy.  The invisible children are the kids in Uganda who flee their small villages every night for fear of being caught by the rebels,torchered and killed or worse, made to become a rebel.  These three college aged guys go to Africa to see what’s up and at first, they think they haven’t really found much of a story but then they find these children.  They find them in the bigger cities, sleeping in dark places and in hospitals.  The most striking scene for me was when you saw the children lying on the ground in a big room, hundreds of them, all mingled up with one another and the camera pans over this large wall to another room full of children.  It seems as though Africa has fogotten about its future or are they powerless against this war? 

After watching the video, Wil and I went to the store to get some grub for a girl that is staying with us because she got kicked out of the near by private school for a few days.  Typical high school stuff.  She is staying with us as part of her out of school suspension.  It is weird having a 16 year old girl that I don’t know in my house but she has been very quiet and polite. 

After the store run, we went to the U2-charist.  It is a “normal day at church” with the songs of U2 and a focus on ending poverty.   When I first heard about it, I thought it would be kinda cheesy but in fact, the songs were relevant and fun to sing and I really enjoyed it.  Thanks Joy….you ARE making changes. 

So I went to work today.  I sat in my swivel chair, making slow rotations around and around.  I stared out the bank window, occasionaly cashing checks.  I felt so small.   So helpless.  And yes, I’ve changed. I hope I keep changing.  I plan on going to the Invisible Children event this weekend in Nashville and it will probably change me even more.  I just hope I change so that I can make bigger changes.  That is my prayer.

FYI   http://www.invisiblechildren.com/home.php

I don’t even buy Organic! April 19, 2007

Weighing heavily on my mind tonight……

I was watching my show, LOST, and during one of the extra long commercial breaks they advertised for a dateline special about the state of the enivornment and how we are destroying it rapidly and how to prevent it.  This is nothing new of course, but for some reason, it is really bothering me.  I think about America and how wrong things are.  The way lives are driven by consumerism and resource depletion.  I thought when gas prices went crazy, people would stop and think.  I thought maybe the oil companies would be like, “We have ruined so much of our environment for money money money so lets look to smaller cars and solar energy.” Yeah right.  It angers me.  It makes me throw up a little.  I think about what I am doing in my life to make things better.  I feel so small with my recycling bags and biodegradable soap.  I don’t even do as much as I can.  What is it inside of me that stops me from really taking action?  Why don’t I get up early and walk to work?  Why do I love swiffer duster even though I know it is disposable?  I don’t know.  At work, they use styrofoam cups for customers to get coffee.  At the drive thru, I give people envelopes to hold their money.  I suggested that we get rid of the styrofoam and I got “the look”.  My comment got pushed aside and wasn’t as important as our numbers for the day.  It makes me go crazy!  I suggested that on earth day, we don’t use the envelopes unless someone just has to have one.  Again with “the look” and the pushing aside of my suggestion.  And I let the thoughts creep in, “What is a few envelopes going to change anyway?  They’re already made.”  Where does it start and who does it start with?  Who can actually make a difference?  The scarier question is, “What will it take for us to wake up and change?”  Like Gore says (by the way, I have not seen his movie yet) it is inconvienent and that is why people won’t change.  We are lazy, self serving, humans.  Ugh!  I told you it was heavy on my mind.  I just hope I can change the little things in my life so that bigger things can be realized.

I’m thinking ventriloquist April 14, 2007

Tonight, the annual seminary talent show. It was a sight for talentless eyes. Every act was unique and all of them different. They were amazing!

I had great company and yummy food. I don’t know a better way to spend the evening. There were such acts like poetry reading ( even though I couldn’t think that deep) There were beautiful singers, multi talented musicians, comedians, art, interpretive juggling, audience participation, and of course ‘addicted to bass’……..

This a very poor picture of “addicted to bass”……Wil’s in the middle.  There are more not- so- great pics in the photo thingy.

The talent show rocked. Maybe next year I’ll get a talent to share. 

PS—-Happy Anniversary Blog.  It has been a great year together.

It could be an 80’s song….. April 10, 2007

It is so easy to forget what’s truly important.  I get so wrapped up in the budget and organization and my job and relationship drama that I forget to just let go of it all every once in awhile and let God take care of the things I can’t.  This journey that I’m on has been tricky.  There are so many emotions when you marry someone who is going to be a priest.  I’ve been, excitied, angry, confused, strong, weak and a shlu of other things.  Something I need to do is let go of the rope I am so desperatly hanging onto.  It is splentering and and my arms are just too weak.  I need to let go and I’m gonna fall: I may fall into rocks, I may fall into a pit of piranha’s, I may fall into a heap of marshmellows or I may just keep falling.  My hopes are that my wings will open and even though I’m falling, I will be able to learn from the fall.  Sometimes it is all or nothin and I’m tired of nothin.

Something you will never see a girl do……. April 1, 2007

Not too long ago, I wrote a blog where I mentioned a frat dude peeing outside the frat house in plain sight of everyone driving by.  Well, on thursday night, I saw something that topped that.  At first, I wasn’t sure if I was seeing it correctly but there, in my headlights, as I waited for Wil to get out of the pub, was a college guy peeing while he walked behind two people he may or may not have been with.  Yes, walking and peeing.  I thought to myself:  either he is really smashed or very talented.  I know there was pee splashing up on his legs because how could there not be?  It was a sight that I will never forget and hopefully will never relive.