Rascally Rabbit June 29, 2007

I have been doing odd jobs that anyone asks me to do these days in order to make ends meet.  I’ve baby-sat, mowed lawns, dog- sat, cat- sat, house- sat, tutored and sent someone their mail on a weekly basis.  I have been VERY busy since I have also been working at the bank, or hell as I like to call it.  Anywho, I was “teenage- sitting” a 13 year old who is so much fun to hang out with when I was cleaning up dinner.  She said,”Amanda, wait a sec, let me look at the top of your head.”  I looked at her with a raised eyebrow, “okay” and she proceeded to pluck ……….. A GREY HAIR!  I stared at it for a moment.  I put it next to a black shirt.  I studied it in the light, I even put it in a plastic baggie in order to bring it home to show Wil but there was no denying it, I had a grey hair. 

Although this discovery came as a shock, it does give me hope.  A large percentage of us will have grey hair or even worse, no hair at all.  My aunts and uncles have the most beautiful silver hair.  Maybe I too, will have silver hair that I can wear in a cute little bob with my aquamarine shirts.  Even though hope is there, I am not ready for grey.  I know this 30 something year old who a child and overnight went grey. 

All this leaves me to question why we are scared of grey hair.  Does it symbolize the beginning of the end or that our lives are so stressful that our body must release through wiry strands?  Will I be going to the store in the next few months to buy a package of “Sunflower” Loreal Hair dye?  I blame it all on the bank.  If there’s anything you’d like to blame on the bank, it is perfectly fine by me. 

In honor of my grey hair:

Oxygen Masks June 22, 2007

Things worth doing tend to be scary.  I sometimes choose the easy road when I should be looking for that “road less traveled.”  I was thinking about my life and how I am currently just going through the motions.  When something that will be a challenge presents itself (like tutoring the Dean’s adopted first and second grader), I get all stressed and nervous and wish I could just watch TV instead.  I know that once I do this, I will have grown and learned so much about me and others. 

A woman I work with has never been on a plane therefore she hasn’t been many places.  Thinking about the first time I went on a plane, it was scary.  Every bump was a held breath and I paid close attention to the emergency instructions.  Of course the flight went fine and my travels led me to a more open mind and memories. 

I write this to encourage myself.  Try more “scary” things in the knowledge that wonderful things will most likely be the result.  And it is okay to cry to an episode of scrubs even though you’ve seen it 5 times and the music is cheesy.

Should I call you father? June 13, 2007

Within my time here at seminary, I want to narrow down my feelings on the Bible and other religious matters.  I need to have a pretty good leg to stand on for when Wil is a priest.  The topic of tonight’s spiritual direction was, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”  This led into all sorts of things. 

How can one actually believe that a catastrophe like Katrina or the Tsunami is God’s way of weeding out the sinners?  How can one believe that the Bible is meant to be read literaly? 

We talked about the original sin.  Some people think that it is sex.  Some people think it is eating the fruit from the tree of life.  Some people think is was woman’s fault.  Some people think is was the devil.  Well, I think that the original sin is blame.  We are always blaming someone else.  Eve did not trust what God had to say about the tree of life so she ate the fruit that the serpent told her would make her know good and evil.  Then, Eve offered the fruit to Adam and then they were ashamed and knew guilt.  Before the fruit, they did not know evil.  After, they hid from God and blamed one another.  What if it would have been Adam and Steve?  Where would that have put woman?  And this is just one version of the creation story……

I believe in evolution.   I think that disasters happen because that is the way the earth is, something not totally within our control.  We do things in our daily lives to set certain catastrophes in motion but many are just nature.  God is not vindictive.  He does not try to strengthen faith by making terrible things happen to people.  These things are just life and we learn from them.

I believe in ghosts.  One thought brought up tonight was the idea of spirituality being there to make things better for us while we are alive, a way to ease pain and give hope.  What if we didn’t have hope?  What if when we die, that’s it.  Well, that’s where my belief in ghosts comes in.  The fact that I believe in this after death thing means that there’s more out there after I pass from here.  I am not sure what but the thought still gives me hope which in turn strengthens my faith.

Religion is what you make it.  Do not put priests and ministers on pedestals because they are afraid of heights (or atleast they should be.)  So why do bad things happen to good people?   There are no 100% good persons out there so the question becomes somewhat irrelevant and confusing.  

Okay, my head hurts.  More later…….

We ate dinner in Chattanooga June 4, 2007

I was enchanted by Asheville this past weekend.  I not only got to go to my niece’s second birthday party but I attended the wedding of two beautiful people:  Simon and Alyse.  I saw so many old faces.  Having a history is something that brings me joy.   I think about my past experiences and what I have taken from them.  It was an awesome weekend and everyone was so giving. 

Simon and Alyse were married at lake logan.  That place feels so good.  The blue grass band sounded great and the weather was really happy.     It was hard to come back to reality.   

  I realize this day that the places I have found myself have always benefited me in some way.  I thought about camp a lot this weekend and that community has brought me so much in my life.  I also decided that I need to work on learning spanish.  I was inspired. 

Congratulations to everyone that had a beautiful weekend. And now, to a beautiful week……..I hope.