Nobody ever calls me anymore. I come home and there’s no little light blinking, no notepad with a persons name and the word “called” next to them. I rarely even hear the phone ring and when it does, it’s usually for Wil.
I was thinking about this last night at spiritual directon and I wouldn’t say I’m lonely but I can feel my unpopularity gripping at my well being. When I call my mom, we have a 10 minute phone call about once a week. What’s weird since I love my mom and I consider her a best friend so why the heck don’t we talk more? The woman hates talking on the phone. All of my years, I never saw her spend more then a few minutes on any one phone call.
This leads me to a thought about myself….I think I have phone anxiety. I don’t even know if this is a real thing but I know I have it. I do not like to call people. Once I’m on the phone with them, I’m great and I love hearing what they’re doing and how they’re doing and I think about people often and wonder what’s new. It is the actual act of calling that I have issues with. I think, “What will we talk about? Will they be busy? Will the cell phone cut in and out and drive me crazy?” When I get an answering machine, I am somehow relieved because I have done my duty as a friend and have shown I care but I don’t have to actually talk.
Girl time is crucial in my life and when I make dates with my gal pals I always have so much to talk about and I always have a great time. I rather them be here in person then on the phone. Wil gets agrivated with me because I do have a cell phone but I never carry it and hardly use it unless I’ve gone “down the mountain.”
What’s weird is that I haven’t always been this way. I think it started in college and has progressed each year and each time I move. Back in high school I would talk so long that one of my friends actually fell asleep while I was talking to him. I remember pausing mid- sentence only to hear a soft snore on the other line.
Maybe tonight I’ll spread my wings and face my fears and call a few friends to say hello. Or maybe I’ll watch the season finale of America’s Next Top Model………..
1) Somehow your site’s clock is off, it says this is posted on Thursday and it’s only Wednesday.
2) Shane is literally taking anti-anxiety meds because of his phone phobia so it does exist!!
Tricia
PS Rachel’s B-day Party is coming soon!
Call me anytime
It would be great to catch up and I don’t know when we’ll get a chance to do that in person again. Wish you could join us at the beach this summer. You will be missed. Any chance we might see you October?