What does it mean when you can actually feel life getting more complicated? The past few weeks have brought an avalanche of thoughts and issues. This past weekend, a girl I knew back in the day passed away from breast cancer. She was/is my age, 29. It just blew me away. I instantly gave myself a breast exam and realized that I barely even have time to admire my own breasts much less give ‘em a good feel. Cancer is just the crappiest crap ever. It leaves me with one question: why? People should die of old age not painful diseases that they don’t deserve.
I also know someone that it seems drama follows and someone else that their relationship is falling apart so soon after being married. I hugged Wil last night and thanked him for being so understanding and so patient. Now, if I could just get him to wash a dish every now and then 
Christmas is always an interesting time. We have so much anticipation for what’s to come. Most groups go out of their way to help a fellow human in need. The earth is dying, the leaves have fallen, no new life is coming forth. And it always seems like life’s troubles are amplified during this time. The winter is harsh on many levels. Sometimes I think that things climax, that everything comes to a head, ready to explode so that the newness can make its grand entrance.
Which brings me to Baby Keith. Things are going great. Every check up goes smooth, I feel pretty good except for being out of breath and having less agility. I had to squeeze myself into a tight bathroom stall last night and after my belly rubbed against every surface in the small cubicle of a rest area, I decided I needed to burn my maternity shirt in a ritual I will call, “My belly is big but not from beer so let it burn, let it burn.” But I know that the honeymoon phase is ending. I’m at 25 weeks and only a few weeks away from the dreded third tri-mester (which needs it’s own scary organ music). The doctor is starting to fill my head with stress: “have you thought about this? have you done this? are you going to do this?” My answer is “No, I prefer not to think, thank you very much.”
This time in my life, on the cusp of being 30 years old, is bringing interesting challenges and new wrinkles. I pray I stay young at heart and worry minimally.
